Heels

I am not fond of high heels. They pinch your toes, cause blisters, and make it difficult to walk. I am not fond of high heels.

However, heels do elongate your body, look very stylish, enable a certain swivel to your hips, and express your buying power. I like heels.

I think what I like best about heels is that they remind me of my mom.

Today at a workshop we had to do a little writing exercise based off of a story we read dealing with family. One woman wrote about her grandmother’s hands, another about her father’s eyes. I wrote about my mother’s heels. The sound of strength, the sound of power, the sound of comfort, the sound of my caretaker… that is what I heard with the sound of my mom’s heels. Whether it was in the morning getting ready for work, walking up to the door in the afternoon, or walking down the hall to my hospital room… it was the sound of those heels for which I listened.

With the sound of those heels, like a grand band ushering in a member of royalty, came all the power, strength, and love that could possibly be packed into a tiny 5' frame that is my mother.

I slip into my own heels and I hear the sound they make. I forget my pinched toes and sore feet and think for a moment that I can too carry that strength. I’m trying to become a mother myself and I realize that part of my strong desire to be a mom is so that I can become more like my own mother.

As I try to navigate through a new world, where no one knows or cares that I am mommy’s little princess, I find it part liberating, part terrifying. As I pray for my own prince or princess, I think about my mom and I hope to repeat our relationship with my own kids. To give them the best of what I had growing up and also give them all that I’ve gained and learned as an adult… Torah, emunah, mitzvot, simchah, and a relationship with G-d.

While I can no longer hear the sound of those heels, I know, and will teach my kids, that no matter where mommy is, our Father in Heaven is always with us and will guide and support us… just like those heels.